Slave Leia Outrage

Yesterday I wrote about my new toy, a 6 inch Star Wars Black Series Speeder Bike with stormtrooper pilot and how it may have started a new obsession with Star Wars figures. Well today I’m going to show you a guy who probably won’t be following me into this new collector hobby…

The Star Wars Black Series action figure collection is mostly not for kids. For one the Star Wars franchise probably isn’t really a fan favourite amongst todays children. Its mostly for very old kids like me, who get up to pee twice a night and lose sleep about how much hair is migrating from their heads to their shoulders. There is also the price point, these toys aint cheap! So when a mouth breathing Dad has a hissy fit in the toy aisle because he has been forced to look at the new Black Series Princess Leia in Slave Outfit, you gotta wonder; is he making a fuss because he cares, or because its the easiest way to get on the news? Check out the video below.

Note: You might want to avoid the annoying rap at the end. I couldn’t find a mother version of this clip.

So pretty lame right? I mean, firstly, Sir, you need to buy sunglasses from somewhere other than the gas station in the future. Secondly, please don’t keep saying crap, you have two children, and finally, you aren’t really outraged are you? I mean, you probably have fond memories of this costume from when you were a kid watching Return Of The Jedi, am I right?

Seriously though, when a father needs to explain something like this to his kids, id imagine this would be something you’d say. I should point out that I don’t have kids, but I am a reasonably intelligent person, so here we go:

“This is Princess Leia, she is a strong and fiercely independent leader of band of rebels committed to returning freedom to the oppressed and disenfranchised across the galaxy. The costume she is where in an attempt by her captor to humiliate her, and rob her of her strength. You may notice she is rising above that attempt to oppress her because she understands that these things only embody power if you give them power. That chain you ask, well that is this vile gangsters attempt to diminish her humanity by making her his pet. She will use the tool of oppression later to regain her freedom. You should really see the movie, in fact I feel like I’ve failed you as a father by not playing them for you already. Oh, and they are family movies so this is in no way sexual.”  – Any Dad

The above image is how these toys are meant to be seen, as a part of a collection that helps a fan express the joy in all things Star Wars. Not wielded by a ridiculous man in cheap sunglasses who wants to use his kids, and his outrage to get onto TV. Sir, if you wanted to shield your children from these toys perhaps ushering them along the toy aisle saying, I don’t think thats really for you is one way to handle it. Oh, and you asked about Princess Leia’s neck chain, what about your neck chain sir? That offends me.

What do you think about the whole “parental outrage” at the look of this collectors toy? Is it misplaced? Should we gather them all together and throw them onto a huge bonfire as many over reacting individuals have done previously (I’m looking at you Beatles haters!) Let me know your take on it in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Slave Marc